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Stop beating yourself up. It doesn’t work, and y

Stop beating yourself up. It doesn’t work, and you don’t deserve it.

Poem, Pretty Ugly, written by Abdullah Shoaib.

#affirmations #selflove #selfworth #mentalhealth

Gradual change through daily habits. Any change re

Gradual change through daily habits.
Any change requires a different way of doing things, of feeling things, of thinking about things. This isn’t easy. Neither is staying where you are. And you are worth all the effort it takes!

#change #onedayatatime #mentalhealth

Shared from @alan_robarge_psychotherapist Good st

Shared from @alan_robarge_psychotherapist

Good stuff! Early attachment injuries can (will) show up in our adult relationships. Its so helpful to understand this and question for ourselves how we’re relating to those closest to us.

Shared from @gretchnevans Spot on! You are the o

Shared from @gretchnevans

Spot on! You are the only expert of your grief!

The mechanisms you’ve used to cope helped get yo

The mechanisms you’ve used to cope helped get you here today. So if you’ve been struggling with unhealthy coping patterns, try going a little easier on yourself. Congratulate yourself for making it here, and congratulate yourself for knowing these mechanisms need to change in order for your continued growth and future well-being.

#copingskills #mentalhealth

I just love a good quote! “Healing is never fin

I just love a good quote!

“Healing is never final. It is never perfection. But along with the losses are the triumphs.”
-Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing From Complex Trauma

#trauma #anxiety #traumahealing #ptsd #mentalhealth #quotes

“To heal is to touch with love that which was pr

“To heal is to touch with love that which was previously touched by fear.”
-Dr. Stephen Levine

I often get asked if I’m “one of those therapi

I often get asked if I’m “one of those therapists who thinks everything is because of my childhood”. The answer is yes and no and further explanation is way more than an IG post but I’m going to try.

Obviously, everything isn’t connected to our childhood; however, t’s been my experience that some wounds are indeed connected to past traumas, especially when we experience repetitive ruptures (multiple unhealthy relationships, fired from multiple jobs, persistent emotional discomfort, etc). When clients start therapy, it’s natural that they want to focus on what they perceive the “problem” to be (usually another person they’re actively disengaged with or a current situation that is causing them discomfort), and I sometimes hear frustration when we’re spending time at the beginning assessing their childhood experiences. In taking this time, often what I find is an adult client with a young childhood wound that’s been ignored and invalidated. Trauma has the capacity to be formed in our individual reactions to our experiences. It’s powerful when we learn to ask ourselves questions. Where is this feeling coming from? When did my tendency to put other people’s needs above my own start? What am I trying to prove by working so hard with no rest? Who is this all for? That’s where we find the core wound, and that’s where we start the work.

Think of it like this, when fighting a fire, you don’t spray water at the flames shooting upward. I mean, you can, and it may even seem to help temporarily, but unless you manage to find the base of the fire where it started, you’re going to be fighting that fire for a lot longer than necessary. You have to find the fuel. What’s causing this fire?

#trauma #ptsd #cptsd #childhoodtrauma #anxiety #attachmentstyles

In trauma-focused therapy when we are beginning to

In trauma-focused therapy when we are beginning to learn about our nervous system, we may struggle with exercises that direct us to be still. We may be so used to the ‘doing’ that it’s uncomfortable to focus on the ‘being’. We may think there is so much that needs to be done that being still may feel like a waste of our time.

It’s likely, especially for those of us who’ve experienced trauma, that a lot of our doing leads back to making someone other than ourselves happy. Ensuring the people around us were content may have helped us be safe at one point in our lives. Being still for ourselves can bring up uncomfortable feelings of urgency and guilt. We may also be fearful of where our thoughts might go if left to wander.

Ask yourself the purpose of your Doing. Is it for you or ultimately for somebody else? Ask yourself why you feel Being is a waste of your time. Acknowledge your feelings about rest, and then give yourself permission to be still. Start with shorter periods of time, even if you have to start with 3 minutes or less. Then journal about your experience. Did the discomfort last the whole time? Did your mind wander? What came up and where did you feel it in your body? This information can be useful in therapy.

#be #bestill #trauma #traumahealing

In romantic relationships, friendships, jobs, etc.

In romantic relationships, friendships, jobs, etc., sometimes our brain knows it’s over before our heart is ready to admit it.

#relationships #newbeginnings #onedoorclosesanotheropens #brainbodyconnection

The notion of resilience has gotten a bad rap in t

The notion of resilience has gotten a bad rap in the last few years. My take is that the word is an innocent bystander to the old blanket one-liners disguised as compliments that traumatized people are understandably sick of hearing like, “You’re so strong,” “You’re the toughest person I know,” etc. (Cringe!)

Resilience isn’t just about strength. It’s about recovery. It’s about the effects of personal growth. It’s about not giving up. It’s about resting. It’s about learning you can feel your emotions while staying in your window of tolerance. It’s about growing to accept yourself as you are. Sure, it’s about being tough - but it’s also about allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It’s about learning which people around you are safe, and weeding out the ones who aren’t. It’s about learning how (and who) to ask for what you need. It’s about learning to accept comfort when it’s offered from a safe person. It’s about enforcing your boundaries even when it would be easier not to. It’s about keeping in line with your values. It’s about reminding yourself what’s in your control and what’s not. It’s about falling down and getting back up again. It’s about acceptance. Resilience is beautiful. And it can be learned and strengthened at potentially any age.

#resilience #traumahealing

This reel by @digitallybaffled has me in stitches.

This reel by @digitallybaffled has me in stitches.

It’s funny because it’s true. It’s far easier to “forget the plan” and revert back to our old ways of doing things, but isn’t your frustrations with your old ways of doing things the reason you made the plan in the first place?

Finding yourself back seemingly where you started is common, but the fact is that you’re not back there at all. For my clients, you have new tools you’ve learned along the way that can help you get back on track more quickly than when you first started, thanks to our brain’s neuroplasticity. Keep going! You’ve got this!

#workyourplan #keepgoing #therapy

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